Reunited

For the past two years, our summers have included one week dedicated to a family reunion. Last year it was Southbank, BC (you might have to Google that one), and this year it was St. John’s, Newfoundland. Two very different destinations that share one huge thing in common - they’re both a hell of a long way from Fernie. But, feeling very blessed to have family, and mostly not wanting to get in trouble from either of our moms, my husband and I roused our two teenage girls, made all the necessary arrangements, and off we went.

Let’s face it, if you’re raising teenagers or can remember being one yourself, then you know that getting a teen to any event where they must stand around and smile while their elders tell them how much they’ve grown or look like their parents is a tough sell. When you add in that they have to travel for fourteen hours to get there, you’re really pushing it. So, you can imagine my challenge of pumping up the excitement factor on spending one precious week of their vacation visiting with people they’ve never met. It was like trying to make a trip to the dentist sound like a Billie Eilish concert. Basically impossible. And when you have post-pandemic teenagers, I wonder if it’s even more difficult than it used to be.

The generation of teenagers we are raising have lived through something that we only read about in science fiction novels. They have been disconnected from society and sequestered in their homes for months 
at a time. When they did venture back out, they wore masks that fogged up their glasses and had their temperatures checked before they could enter their schools. The sound of someone coughing was cause for great alarm. They were confused and scared. Crowds and people outside of their bubbles were off limits. We taught them to bump forearms instead of shake hands, and hugging was forbidden. But, thankfully, as the months became years and our brilliant scientists developed vaccines, the world is once again open for business. We can go to concerts and crowded restaurants and even do whatever the heck they’re doing on Love Island. (Not that I watch that show…I’ve just heard. Wink.) And yes, we can have family reunions. 

If you have a large family that lives far away, like I do, then you probably went to a few reunions as a kid. My memories are vibrant and teeming with a sense of autonomy and freedom. From what I can gather, many of us experienced similar situations. Common occurrences included: seeing your parents let loose, possibly to a shocking level. The cousins quickly pivoting from indifference to a rag-tag gang that moves from bad idea to bad idea without consequence or reprimand–as long as they don’t bother the adults. One of the younger kids doing something prohibited and getting soaked or hurt and the older cousins keeping it a secret. Bonding with your siblings who you fought with all the way there because the cousins seem weird and unhinged on the first day. And, most importantly, driving away feeling loved, exhausted, and tethered to something bigger. This is the magic. Because in the midst of all the chaos, a deeper sense of identity and connection is formed, and I don’t think anyone needs that more than teenagers. Especially in today’s world. And similar to how you feel when you’re leaving the dentist’s office, despite every moment not being the most pleasant experience, you know it was worth it. I know that as my girls exchanged snapchat handles and hugs and loaded back into the car for the long trek home, they got it.