The Internet

It seems to me that most people have a strange relationship with the internet. 

It’s hard to imagine how you couldn’t; the same place that shows you the third trending water bottle of the summer can also show you that the thing you’ve been taught to feel embarrassed about isn't embarrassing. You might think of the internet as an addictive source of endless consumption and distraction, that is constantly pushing for new content. You would be right. This is all true, but it would also be a fault not to recognize how its rapidly changing nature is surprisingly effective at destigmatization. By connecting people who might otherwise never meet with the option of anonymity, the internet has amazingly created spaces where experiences that are commonly shamed can be discussed more openly.

Taboos are strengthened by isolation. They can be completely irrational, but as long as no one feels comfortable questioning them, they can continue to exist without much resistance. However, online there’s a community for nearly everything. All it takes for someone who feels insecure or ashamed about something is to look it up and find thousands of people discussing the same experience. It is not as though taboos are a sentient force with the sole purpose of excluding people. They are simply a part of how societies develop: experiences that are not universal are sometimes treated with shame. A large part of that is because it is remarkably difficult to have a deep understanding of something you have never experienced and cannot connect to anything in your own life, so judgement feels like an appropriate response. The internet changes this by allowing people to find others who can relate to their experiences in incredibly specific ways. For example, if someone is struggling with a disease or illness, they can go online and find hundreds of people living through the same thing. The #MeToo movement is another example. Millions of people were able to share their experiences and, in doing so, find some sense of validation instead of being isolated.

The internet also provides anonymity. Which is scary and causes a lot of problems, but at times is admittedly helpful. Someone can share or ask something with relatively little impact on their real-life relationships or social standing. A person may be uncomfortable discussing an embarrassing experience with their friends, family, or even a doctor, but feel like they can do so anonymously online.

It is also worth mentioning that taboos make good content, especially with influencer culture. Think of all the times over the last few years that stigmas have been discussed and gone viral online. People are constantly looking for engagement, and unique and controversial topics tend to get it. Whether the subject is weight, religion, relationships, illness, etc., talking about a taboo usually attracts attention precisely because it is shocking and debatable. I am not saying that these conversations are always approached in a healthy or respectful way, but they are had nonetheless.

Of course, I cannot ignore the hateful side of the internet. There are videos, comments, and entire communities dedicated to condemning people for talking about their experiences. Because of how algorithms work, people are often shown content that reinforces what they already believe, meaning that the internet can strengthen these taboos just as easily as it can challenge them. Someone who shares a stigmatized experience might find thousands of people who understand them, but they might also find thousands of people telling them that they should be ashamed.

However, I do not think the existence of these hateful responses cancels out the value of the conversations themselves. If anything, it proves that the taboo is being challenged. Someone is talking about it, someone else is disagreeing, and other people are watching both sides. Of course, simply having a conversation does not mean that a taboo will disappear, or even that society will become more accepting. But the fact that something can be questioned at all is important. Even if the conversation makes no real change, there is something to be said about the fact that it's still being had.