Imperfectly Wonderful

It’s that time of year again! Christmas carols in every store, sweet Hallmark movies on TV that make us cry, and everyone on social media celebrating “the most wonderful time of the year.” That’s the type of holiday celebrations our North American culture encourages, even though our families may be spread throughout the world and have many generations, religions, races, in-laws and out-laws to manage. We may also carry memories of our own childhood holidays that have blurred into Norman Rockwell perfection, even if they were far from it.



These mental images may feed expectations that just can’t be met in today’s world, and the family caregivers often set the highest standards for themselves. While trying to create a perfect holiday for old and young, they also have to consider the current health and living situations for their loved ones. Even though we know that aging is a part of life, it is still hard to accept and adapt to loss of vision, hearing, memory or mobility. I recognized that as I tried to spend time with family, serve my community, and make everyone happy, I shouldered the heavy backpack of guilt if I did not meet my impossibly high expectations. I was so busy trying to wrap up a beautiful holiday for the ones I loved, that I forgot to give them the real gift of my time and attention.



So what is a busy mother/grandmother/wife/sister/daughter/friend/volunteer/caregiver to do?



Here is my Christmas wish list!