Four Corners, Three Gravies

 You drive out onto the first American pavement past the first set of white roadside crosses. The first rolling yellow hills. The first patch of Big Sky. The first important intersection you come to on Highway 3 is what locals call the Four Corners. To the rear to the South, highway three to the border, duty, rubber gloves and taxable love. To the North, Whitefish, Occupy Costco Calgary Chapter Kalispell. To the East, a labyrinth of backroads and Leather-face farmhouses. If you whizz in the ditch back there, keep moving so Uncle Charlie can't get a bead on your melon with his Bushmaster .223 caliber semiautomatic. It is at this intersection you will find the Crossroads Grill at Four Corners Casino. A 20 year plus establishment kicking the hamburger steak old school. A mellow room, nice folks, homemade food. 13 beers on tap! El más excelente! If you are a gravy aficionado they've got the trifecta of coronary thrombosis, chicken, pork and beef. Distinct colours.

Most excellent. Homemade pie. Let me say that again - homemade pie. Holy chest pains, pass the Bayer aspirin. After you wipe the drippings from your beard with a beach towel gets some cheap beer from Stein's, hit the eastern backroads. Set off some fireworks, get abducted by ancient farmhouse serial killers who will duct tape you to an old barber chair. They'll introduce you to their skittish brother who sports a beef jerky mask, a striped yellow tie, butcher bib, chainsaw, a crooked tongue... Let's go the the corners, we can pick-up at Montana Shipping, buy Velveeta, pile drive an Albertan into the casino gravel, get our gravy on.