The Remark Valentine's Special

I'll have another.
I’m the portrait of a 21st century spinster. As Valentines Day looms I always find myself over a stereotypical martini sitting back and contemplating the current state of our small town dating scene and it’s always ugly, confusing and hilarious at times. Yet I always seem to find a glimmer of hope with every sip I take.

I have been navigating the foggy dating scene of Fernie for five years now. Anyone who has experienced dating in a ski resort town will most likely express to you in one way or another, perhaps the middle finger or a flighty eye batting response, how it was the best of times and the worst of times.

Fernie is a magical place and the dating side can be just as daunting as it is thrilling. There are no rules here, there are no guidelines. You got to get out there and tread those murky waters with faith and wide open eyes and ears. Long gone are the days of courting and receiving a pin. At least back then they knew where they stood. No wonder my mother and I are talking in different languages when dating talk eventually comes up on the phone. “Chantel, meet a nice man yet?” “No mom, not this week thank you very much.”

Most people would rather flail themselves off Polar Peak than put themselves out there and confess their feelings to someone. There are so many unanswered questions and head scratching overanalyzed situations all over the map. How are you supposed to know if the person and you are “together”? How many hookups does it take to get a commitment? Who wants to be committed in a party town anyway? Our age of texting and Facebook has also added much confusion to the mix. “He texted me twice, what a psycho!” “He won’t change his Facebook status to In-A-Relationship, jerk!” There are excuses for everything too like “It was a powder day” or “I was drunk”. What’s a girl or guy to do… or expect? Let’s be honest, how many girls have I wanted to anonymously mail a copy of He’s Just Not That Into You? – lots!

And then it all comes back down to the incestuous pool of familiar faces. There comes a time when you know everyone and who they have dated in the past. As time marches on, you shift your investments to out of town prospects. Many experience a high return of success and many will tell you not to bother.

There is just no right way to portage through this dating conundrum, but only to approach with caution and look ahead.

Trudging through the years, I have gained some wisdom and insight into this complete social disaster and what it comes down to is this: You can date all the people in the world or hang on to that one guy or gal that comes along, but the biggest challenge you have to face is yourself. You have to know who you are and love yourself first before you go to the table and throw down your baring-it-all cards. Once you get into dating, stay true to yourself and do not tolerate disrespect. Nothing good ever really comes easy, think positive and trust your intuition.

Valentines Day shouldn’t be taken too seriously with material things or clichés, it’s merely a time to express your feelings to the one you love, in whatever way you choose. And if you don’t have a lover, spoil yourself.

Love Tonic – For Lovers and Haters
Muddle 2 strawberries, 2 basil leaves and 2 mint leaves in a highball glass with a teaspoon of sugar. Fill with ice. Add 1 once of rose-infused gin and dash of lemon juice. Then fill with tonic water and garnish with mint sprig. Viola!

Advice from Chan’s Mom
How do I get my man to pick up his dirty socks?
Just leave them on the floor until he realizes he’s run out of socks. He’ll figure it out soon.

Wikipedia Whoa!
Korea. On February 14 women give chocolate to men. On March 14 men give candy to women. On April 14 those who never received anything must go to a Chinese restaurant and dine on black noodles and mourn their single life.
Sweden. It’s called Alla hjärtans dag ("All Hearts' Day") and was launched in the 1960s by the flower industry's commercial interests, and because of western culture’s influence.
Saudi Arabia. In 2002 and 2008, religious police banned the sale of all Valentine's Day items because it was deemed non-Islamic. They instructed shops to remove any related items. This then lead to a black market of roses and wrapping paper.

Interesting Reading Material:
1. Between Boyfriends Book by Cindy Chupack
2. The Happy Hook Up: A Single Girl's Guide to Casual Sex by Joy Alexa Sherman and Nicole Tocantins
3. Dating Make You Want To Die by Daniel Holloway
4. Deal Breakers: When to Work On a Relationship and When to Walk Away by Dr. Bethany Marshall
5. Un-Hooked Generation by Jillian Straus

A Lovers Mix by the Fernie Yacht Club DJs:
Walter Meego - Girls (Grandtheft Rmx)
Duke - So In Love With You
Felix Da Housecat - Ready 2 Wear (U-Terns evening wear rmx)
Jamiroquai - Love Foolosopohy
Friendly Fires vs. Snoop Dogg - Paris Seduction (Aeroplane re-edit)
Noah and The Whale - Blue Skies (The Twelves rmx)
The Limousines - Very Busy People
The Hood Internet - Just A Friendomania (Biz Markie vs Phoenix vs Classixx)
Daft Punk - Face to Face
La Roux - I'm not your toy (Data Rmx)
Tv on the Radio - Staring at the Sun (In Digital Time rmx)
Florence - YGTL (xx Rmx)
Jazzanova - I Can See feat. Ben Westbeech (DCUP Rmx)
Friendly Fires - Skeleton Boy (Grum Rmx)
Mylo - In My Arms
Fleetwood Mac - Everywhere
Pretty Poison - Catch Me I'm Falling
Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam - I Wonder If I Take You Home
Dawn Penn - You don't love me
The Herbal Crew - Hear In My Mind
Logistics – Transporter

To download the complete FREE and PG 13 rated DJ set follow the “download now” directions here:

Valentines Day falls on the first quarter of a Pisces new moon.
Perfect time for a sex revival or the blossoming of a new romance. This is the time for fantasy and getting creative. Meow!