June 2022 Editor's Fix

Over the last couple of months, I have had multiple dreams of being with my Nana. (The most recent the night before writing this.) She was my best friend and passed away seven years ago April 1. I was expecting my second daughter at the time, whose due date was mid-April but we would wait an extra two weeks before meeting her, as I became extremely ill after my Nana’s passing with a chest infection. 

These dreams and recent losses both in our community and within our family have resulted in me ruminating on this time. What has become most apparent is my withdrawal… from everything. Myself, my family, my friends, and worst of all, my Nana. I would sit with her for hours, I would hold her hand, but I could not say anything. I think it must have been a form of self-preservation. I knew I was on the edge of falling into pieces. 

Seven years later, I remember what my acupuncturist said to me. That I would not go into labour until I could process the grief. In Chinese medicine, we hold grief in our lungs. I also recall one of my favourite quotes from Rumi, “The wound is where the Light enters you.” 

I was very fortunate at the time that my partner organized for me to travel to the Cranbrook hospital so I could tell my Nana that if we had a girl, we would call her Maria. It was the last time I saw her in person, she squeezed my hand. I let some light in. 

The last couple of years have been riddled with loss, confusion, division and challenges, both individually and as a community, and now we have the opportunity to transition and to receive positivity, change, love, togetherness. Let’s celebrate and let that light in, and hey - if it takes a little help from a friend, that’s okay!