Follow What Feels Right

It’s 8am on Saturday morning. My kids are reading and playing beside me, and I am in cobra pose. I can’t help but notice all the dog hair on our floor. My mind starts to wander. Maybe I should vacuum when I’m done.

I’ve started doing yoga. Just at home by YouTube, but I’ve been doing it most days for a few weeks now. With two young kids, I find scheduled classes hard to commit to, but the video is on my own time. And if I get pulled away, I can always hit pause. I like that I can move at my own pace and adjust some of the poses to match my ability. I like the relaxation part too. “Shavasana” (lying flat on your back) sounds like a much more Zen accomplishment.

I enjoy yoga because it’s something different, requires minimal prep, and is not weather dependent. I am not good at it. I do not say that in a self-deprecating way, more as a matter of fact. My flexibility is weak. That being said, I do get to see improvement quickly. And I love the sense of accomplishment on the days when I do a session first thing in the morning.

My sessions can look pretty hilarious. One morning, I was doing a cobra pose, but I had my three-year-old using my back as a slide, my one-year-old throwing her toys at me and laughing, all while our dog was using me as an underpass. It was at that moment that the yoga instructor announced, “No expectation, just enjoy this time to yourself.” I laughed while managing not to land on the dog.

I don’t have one clear purpose for starting yoga. There are several reasons and motivations for my sticking with it. I like improving my flexibility and my posture. Of course there is the good feeling that comes from any exercise. And as I mentioned earlier, the yoga videos fit into my life well at the moment. I mostly use Yoga with Adrienne. I find her videos just the right blend of encouragement and pushing myself. Her videos are quality yet she manages to laugh at herself often. She touches on the spiritual, mental and physical aspects of yoga, but I always feel like her message is pretty concrete and grounded. The physical aspect of yoga is the biggest draw for me, but the exercise certainly improves my mental health and my spirituality. Exercise feels good. I didn’t set out to find yoga. I just heard about the video and tried it. Sometimes we don’t need a big meaningful purpose, we just slow down life enough to allow ourselves the time and opportunity to follow what feels right.

The video ends. Perhaps I am improving the spiritual side of my practice more than I think. I decide not to get the vacuum… too many attachments.