The Gains and Losses of Our Collective Wanting

In this present age of languish it seems as though our modern world has paralyzing effects, leaving us stagnant and incapable, frightening our very states of being. This type of fear and separation is not new in our history but perhaps to me or you, therefore my quest for enlightenment must continue...
When I first met Julia Rigaux, I was a second-year theatre student at Red Deer College. I remember her relaxed nature, her songbird falsetto, and her dedicated Buddhist practice. Chanting her way through life and into my heart, she soon invited me to her family home in Calgary where I would meet Jack and Susan Rigaux, her loving parents. Together they would teach me all about Nichiren Shoshu Buddhism and as I scrambled my way through the ancient Chinese and Japanese Sanskrit, they patiently ushered me along on my journey to achieve enlightenment. As my practice strengthened, Jack built me a butsudan, an ornate wooden cabinet that I later hoped would house a Gohonzon, a sacred scroll that you chant to, once in the morning and once at night, everyday.
Recently I travelled to Vancouver to accept my Gohonzon at the Nichiren Shoshu temple, the only one in Canada. After 20 years of knowing Julia and about 10 years of chanting, I would finally receive this sacred text to enshrine my butsudan. I am preparing and continuing on a journey of enlightenment. In this dis-ease I march steadily in the vibration of my power, dispelling the haunted nature of this life, this death, this breath, this fear.
Face East and chant with me: Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo
The Gains and Losses of Our Collective Wanting
By Sadie Rosgen
an opera of emotions
staged and lit
poised for action
humbled and exalted
the lines between us are blurred and decaying our very relationships,
swinging in the balance
humbled and exalted
I’m being emptied out
make space for nothing
and everything
every second
permeates
humbled and exalted
sublime honour
ancient mantras collect my appetite
the bell awakens
humbled and exalted
coming home in the quiet now
uneasy and free
satiate my vibration
I am as you see me
humbled and exalted