A Dad’s Perspective by Scott Dressler

I was at the pool the other day. “So, I know your son got goggles like these for Christmas and I noticed that he wasn’t wearing them. He was wearing his old ones so I asked him ‘Did you lose your new goggles?’ and he said ‘They are at home, but I have been wearing these ones’ like an eight-year old does so I put these aside until I saw you and I thought I would ask if these ones in the Lost and Found belonged to you.” Whew. It was all a bit quick at 7:30am after a swim workout.

While she patiently waited until after I unwound the confused expression on my face, part of me started to glow. This lovely person, who I knew a little bit from swimming infrequently, a little bit from the Elk Valley Dolphins Swim Club executive, and mostly because she knew I was the husband of the mother of the cute red-headed boy who-always-tries-so-hard, who waits around with the girls who-jump-around-in-dance-outfits to pick him up from swim lessons, was really, really helping me.

I explained to Kelly that I would try to remember to follow up with my son, but what I was really thinking is just how wonderful it is to live in a place where this exchange can happen. She was part of the wide circle of people that help my wife and I provide our children with a rich, safe and fulfilling childhood, everyday. Not everyone in Fernie is in that circle, but it never ceases to amaze me when I meet another person who is. Often I only know them quite tenuously. Sometimes I don’t know them at all. But I am usually left humbled and grateful, at a loss of how to repay them.

People criticize small towns for a few things: a lack of privacy and opportunity being high among them. I can imagine that at a certain stage of your life, Fernie could feel pretty small. However, as many people will also attest, Fernie is a special place. And when you are at the raising-kids stage, it really shines.

It started for us when my wife and I set up here with six weeks to go on baby number one. There was some anxiety over and above the having-a-baby bit. Coming from a city, we wondered what kind of life we would be able to give to our baby.

Emma started checking out the different mom’s groups while we started taking Mac to different activities and locales, like the pool, and things started to change. Mac made friends, and so did we. There is nothing like commiseration over a poor night’s sleep to help you bond with another parent. Some very good friendships were struck and two more kids came along.

I think about living in the city sometimes. I have kind of forgotten what it is like to live there and, as a country mouse, I wonder what it might be like. I mean, so many people live there, there must be something to it. What am I not giving my kids?

Let’s see: excellent educational options; check, world class ski hill and one of the best ski clubs in Canada; check, full blown arts community; check, superb library with creative programming; check, diverse city camps; check, dance, horseback riding; check, soccer; check, hockey; check, swim club; check, martial arts, music lessons, community garden club, etc, etc. So many of these programs are low cost and accessible and if there is a family that needs that helping hand, organizations such as the Emily Brydon Youth Foundation exist to step up to help if the club or association hasn’t already waived the fee.

Back to my original point though: what I really love is how moms and dads work together to make things work. How many times even I, oblivious dad, will see two moms setting up a you-pick-up-my-kid-and-take-them-to-this-with-your-oldest-and-I-can-take-your-youngest-to-my-house-and-they-can-hang-out-with-my-wee-one exchange, otherwise known as Musical Car Seats. The few times Emma has let herself be dragged away from the kids since they were born and I pull my weight for a change, I have been overwhelmed by offers of help in the form of play dates or offers to pick up or drop off kids. I mean, is that the true meaning of community, or what?

That is just the kind of act of kindness that makes it possible for our kids to experience all the things I mentioned above without parents blowing a gasket. Kids know they are being looked after and parents know that they are not in it all by themselves.

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More and more research is showing the importance of the early years of childhood. We are so fortunate to have free programs running in Fernie, here is a brief outline.

Parent/Tot Fun Times: Mondays 9:30am - noon at the Fernie Community Center. Parenting info, parent/child sing-a-longs, story time, craft and free snack.

Fernie Mom's Group: Thursdays 9:30am to11:30am at the Library. Guest speakers talking about aspects of parenting. Free childcare, coffee and snacks. Separate area for kids to play, dance, sing songs, do crafts and have snack.

Better Babies: Every second Thursday, 1pm to 3pm at the Fernie Women's Center. Whether you're pregnant or have a new baby, this is a great place to meet other moms. Lunch is provided, usually a guest speaker.

StrongStart: Monday through Friday 9am - noon in the Isabella Dicken Elementary School. Parent/child interactive. Facilitator led activities. Crafts, play games, do puzzles, read stories, play in the gym and much more. Snack provided. Focused on three and four yr olds but younger children are always welcome.

Another great program with a minimal cost is Kindergym. This program runs Monday, Wednesday and Friday 10am to 11am at the Holy Family Center. Parent/child interactive. Facilitator led, kids play on riding toys, climbing toys, sing songs, listen to a story while enjoying a snack.

If anyone has any questions regarding these programs, please contact Trish Luke at dtluke@telus.net.